I'm a high school teacher. I have taught elementary and middle also. I pretty much liked it all, but middle school was awesome, and high school is definitely pretty sweet. I'm a reading specialist, though, so you can imagine what kids think about being in my classes in high school. Understandable...
And, let's be honest, I'm not as young as I used to be (shoot! how did THAT happen!?!?!). I have been catching myself recently thinking about how students should "know better" and be "thinking about their futures" and blah blah blah. Well, slap me silly! Have I MET MYSELF????
I remember when I was in middle and high school. I did care about my grades, and graduation, but whatever was going on socially was paramount. School was difficult for me for a while, compounded by the true confession that whatever was going on with friends (in the small social life that I actually had), always seemed like the most important, or the most insurmountable issue ever. Academics just dropped to number two (well, not to poop, just to second on the totem pole:). You know I can't resist a little toilet humor... but I digress... I think (I know, we all know) that is just the way the mind of an adolescent works. Their psychological development is such that they are the center of their universe. That's not a dig, just the real deal. And for a while there, in my teaching career, I realized this, remembered it, and relied on it to keep me grounded. It also helped me remember not to take things (such as students not remembering to do my homework) personally.
So every time I climb on my little soap box, I think I need someone to backhand me right back off of it! Of course, if you're thinking "I'll do it! I'll backhand you! Pick me, pick me!" ya better get in line... But seriously, is it annoying that sometimes kids expect that walking through the door of my classroom is enough? That by being physically present but not feeling like doing anything to better themselves will suffice? Yeah, it is supremely obnoxious. But it is also the nature of the beast. So I guess I better pony up or peace out. And we all know I'm not peacin'.... so giddy up! Ride like the wind... I am SO glad it is Friday :)
Friday, November 16, 2012
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Ignorance: Alive & Well
My kids are bi-racial. They are half Korean, and half... well... mutt. White. Whatever. Caucasian to be exact. Sometimes, when I have them out with me, and my husband isn't with me, people will ask questions. I don't mind at all! I love my kids. I think they are fabulous... please, ask about them! Once, at a consignment sale, a lady said, "Where did you get your babies?" To which I replied, without thinking, "Korea!" She said, "really?" I responded, "Well, yeah, Korea and my uterus. They are bi-racial. My husband is from Korea" She promptly apologized, telling me that her babies were from South America, and mine looked similar to hers. I just laughed, and told her not to worry. I was happy to have someone notice their beautiful skin tones. Questions like that, I don't mind. It is understandable that people might think my children are adopted. And I would be proud if they were, of course, as adoption is the best gift you can give to a child. I like that people notice differences. After all, both my husband and I have adoption in our families (that's how he got here!), and we celebrate all sorts of different family make-ups. And let's be honest... my kids are cute (in my own, extremely biased opinion)!
However, some people have less than celebratory things to say about my kids. And I don't think they mean it at all. But on two occasions, I have been extremely shocked (and somewhat appalled)...
Once, when the boy was about 5 months old, I was at the lab getting a blood draw. My friend (his God Mother) was holding him in the lobby so I could go get stuck. When I came out, the receptionist said, "Awww, your baby is so cute!" To which I replied, "Thanks!" But could she leave it at that? Nooooooo... she continued, "He's so cute! He has chinky eyes." I don't even know how to spell that word, but the point is REALLY?!?!?!?!?!? YOU JUST SAID MY BABY HAS CHINKY EYES????????? Seriously. I looked at her, and smiled, and said, "Well, that's because his father is Korean..." She was mortified. Apologizing all over herself... Good. Her embarrassment was a necessary side effect of her ignorance.
Fast forward a few years to when I am daycare shopping. I show up with the girl this time, and begin the tour of the daycare. In conversation, I mention that the girl is half Korean, which is why she doesn't look like me. To this, the daycare provider replies, "Well, that's okay!" Really? Okay? Because I definitely was not just APOLOGIZING for the race of my own child. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Before we speak, maybe we ought to think. Agreed?
Monday, October 22, 2012
Love at first.... nevermind....
It has been a while! And I'm not so sure I'm going to keep this blogging thing up. I don't really think people read it much, and I don't see how it will become more interesting. After all, once the doctoral thing picks back up, I will be exhausted and cranky. Who wants to read that? So either I need to morph it, or lose it altogether.
But in the meanwhile- quick update: I am inactive as a doctoral student until January. The first week back to work in the new job (where I work at 2 high schools) I realized there was no way I could do all of this and survive. I e-mailed the university, and they kindly placed me on "inactive" until January. I have until 2022 to finish all of this, and while I certainly do not wish to take that long, I also need to survive. So, a leave for half of the school year seemed like the right thing to do. And, I'm glad I did it.
Well, the truth is, I love blogs. I love to read other people's blogs more so than writing my own (hence the massive lag in entries). When I write my own, I fret over pretentiousness, supermom complex (or the opposite), boringness, bad grammar, the list could go on. When I read other people's blogs, I just enjoy them.
Recently, I've read two fabulous entries on meeting husbands... here's one: http://kellyneedham.com/. She calls it "The Myth of "The One.'" Then, within a few weeks, someone I went to college with and now keep in touch with over facebook posted this one, called "The Last Five Years." You can view it here: http://thetorioreo.wordpress.com/author/thetorioreo/. It got me thinking about meeting my hubs.
Well, I haven't outright mentioned yet that I'm a Christian. Not that I was holding it back or anything. I just wanted to show that people of faith are also normal people. But then I realized, that's just silly, because no one has EVER accused me of being normal in my life! Moving on, then....
Eight years ago, I graduated from college. I was going into teaching, but needed a summer job. I started working with my friend at a gym. She worked in cardiac rehab, while I was a lowly temporary receptionist. Speaking of that friend... she has a beautiful blog too! Check it out here: http://ecstaticunfoldment.com/blog/. (Who wants to guess that I haven't taken my ritalin in a few days!?!?!). So, I took that job at the gym. After graudation, I spent a week in New York at the wedding of two of my dear friends. Soon after that, another two friends got engaged. Some people might be sitting in shock right now, as this seems like a very young age for all of these weddings. However, in the Christian community, we wed young if we can help it! Some people blame the celibacy thing, but there's more to it than that (but don't get me wrong, we all wish to procreate, yes? Or at least practice...)
I had pretty much resigned myself to singleness. After all, if I hadn't found someone in my same Jesus boat in college, the idea of doing so in the real world seemed pretty slim. So, I go to work at the gym, and I'm shocked by all the "men" there, successful in their careers, and, well, they are personal trainers after all... so I need not go on. One guy caught my eye. He was kind, a little on the hyper side (like you should be surprised), and a super hard worker. I was not at all like, "I want you I need you oh baby oh baby..." I was more intrigued.
Of course, I could NEVER ask a guy out, so my friend just told him that if perhaps he was interested, he could feel free to ask me out because I would say yes (does this sound like middle school to you? sorry....). Anyway, he started bringing me coffee, and then he did ask me out. And I can only describe our first date with one word: intrigue. I wasn't in love at all, I wasn't even totally in "like." I was just intrigued. I wanted to know more about him, and spend more time with him. Love at first sight was not the case at all. I was just interested.
Over time, that interest became love. I think it was around date 4 or 5 that I had to drop the "I do not believe in premarital sex" bomb on him. That was interesting, to say the least. He took it like a champ though. The timeline looked like this: We met in May of 2004, had our first date in July of 2004, got engaged in October of 2004, and Married in July of 2005. Sure, this supports the whole "Christians get married too fast" theory, but the truth is, I'm a teacher, so we had to have a summer wedding. So it was either get married next summer or wait almost 2 years. So we just got married! Our love is a love of comfort. When we decided to get married, it wasn't "ahhh! I am so in love with him!!!" I mean, I was, and I am. I'm crazy about him. But it was more like, "In 20 years, I want to look up from my dinner, and still see him. In 20 years, and also for forever."
So does love at first sight exist? I'm sure it does. I fell in love with figure skating at first experience. I still love it to this day. But the love I know and trust is the one that is comfortable. People talk about "getting too comfortable." I know that has a completely different context. But life is hard, things change, and overall, there is little you can count on. Maybe loving your spouse comfortably is something that you can actually count on. And he still intrigues me. Sometimes it is intrigue such as, "you looked over your shoulder yet STILL whacked our neighbor's car? That intrigues me!" Or, "Interesting that the sign said 30, you drove 50, and you are shocked by the ticket!?!? Interesting..." But other times, it is intrigue at the way he can get our children to behave. He gets into their heads almost, and makes a game out of it, where I would just be like, "You have to behave because you have to behave. End of story." And comfort. He's not going to send me flowers at work (I have girlfriends who do that anyway), but he will make sure that I know he thinks I'm pretty in my ripped jeans and old tee shirt, and he'll make sure that he always asks about my day. He's cool like that. He may work an insane amount of hours each week, but when he's here, he's here. He's ours. The way our children light up when he gets home is a gift. We are all better people because of him. So much of life is spent trying to keep up with an image, or with expectations that are unrealistic (helloooo teaching, helloooo corporate America). I see nothing wrong with a comfortable, interesting kind of love. Maybe it keeps me grounded.
So if there is a lesson in all of this, I'd say we should rejoice in comfort, and if you haven't found the right person yet, let go of love at first sight. Be painfully practical. It just might work. But hey, what do I know?
But in the meanwhile- quick update: I am inactive as a doctoral student until January. The first week back to work in the new job (where I work at 2 high schools) I realized there was no way I could do all of this and survive. I e-mailed the university, and they kindly placed me on "inactive" until January. I have until 2022 to finish all of this, and while I certainly do not wish to take that long, I also need to survive. So, a leave for half of the school year seemed like the right thing to do. And, I'm glad I did it.
Well, the truth is, I love blogs. I love to read other people's blogs more so than writing my own (hence the massive lag in entries). When I write my own, I fret over pretentiousness, supermom complex (or the opposite), boringness, bad grammar, the list could go on. When I read other people's blogs, I just enjoy them.
Recently, I've read two fabulous entries on meeting husbands... here's one: http://kellyneedham.com/. She calls it "The Myth of "The One.'" Then, within a few weeks, someone I went to college with and now keep in touch with over facebook posted this one, called "The Last Five Years." You can view it here: http://thetorioreo.wordpress.com/author/thetorioreo/. It got me thinking about meeting my hubs.
Well, I haven't outright mentioned yet that I'm a Christian. Not that I was holding it back or anything. I just wanted to show that people of faith are also normal people. But then I realized, that's just silly, because no one has EVER accused me of being normal in my life! Moving on, then....
Eight years ago, I graduated from college. I was going into teaching, but needed a summer job. I started working with my friend at a gym. She worked in cardiac rehab, while I was a lowly temporary receptionist. Speaking of that friend... she has a beautiful blog too! Check it out here: http://ecstaticunfoldment.com/blog/. (Who wants to guess that I haven't taken my ritalin in a few days!?!?!). So, I took that job at the gym. After graudation, I spent a week in New York at the wedding of two of my dear friends. Soon after that, another two friends got engaged. Some people might be sitting in shock right now, as this seems like a very young age for all of these weddings. However, in the Christian community, we wed young if we can help it! Some people blame the celibacy thing, but there's more to it than that (but don't get me wrong, we all wish to procreate, yes? Or at least practice...)
I had pretty much resigned myself to singleness. After all, if I hadn't found someone in my same Jesus boat in college, the idea of doing so in the real world seemed pretty slim. So, I go to work at the gym, and I'm shocked by all the "men" there, successful in their careers, and, well, they are personal trainers after all... so I need not go on. One guy caught my eye. He was kind, a little on the hyper side (like you should be surprised), and a super hard worker. I was not at all like, "I want you I need you oh baby oh baby..." I was more intrigued.
Of course, I could NEVER ask a guy out, so my friend just told him that if perhaps he was interested, he could feel free to ask me out because I would say yes (does this sound like middle school to you? sorry....). Anyway, he started bringing me coffee, and then he did ask me out. And I can only describe our first date with one word: intrigue. I wasn't in love at all, I wasn't even totally in "like." I was just intrigued. I wanted to know more about him, and spend more time with him. Love at first sight was not the case at all. I was just interested.
Over time, that interest became love. I think it was around date 4 or 5 that I had to drop the "I do not believe in premarital sex" bomb on him. That was interesting, to say the least. He took it like a champ though. The timeline looked like this: We met in May of 2004, had our first date in July of 2004, got engaged in October of 2004, and Married in July of 2005. Sure, this supports the whole "Christians get married too fast" theory, but the truth is, I'm a teacher, so we had to have a summer wedding. So it was either get married next summer or wait almost 2 years. So we just got married! Our love is a love of comfort. When we decided to get married, it wasn't "ahhh! I am so in love with him!!!" I mean, I was, and I am. I'm crazy about him. But it was more like, "In 20 years, I want to look up from my dinner, and still see him. In 20 years, and also for forever."
So does love at first sight exist? I'm sure it does. I fell in love with figure skating at first experience. I still love it to this day. But the love I know and trust is the one that is comfortable. People talk about "getting too comfortable." I know that has a completely different context. But life is hard, things change, and overall, there is little you can count on. Maybe loving your spouse comfortably is something that you can actually count on. And he still intrigues me. Sometimes it is intrigue such as, "you looked over your shoulder yet STILL whacked our neighbor's car? That intrigues me!" Or, "Interesting that the sign said 30, you drove 50, and you are shocked by the ticket!?!? Interesting..." But other times, it is intrigue at the way he can get our children to behave. He gets into their heads almost, and makes a game out of it, where I would just be like, "You have to behave because you have to behave. End of story." And comfort. He's not going to send me flowers at work (I have girlfriends who do that anyway), but he will make sure that I know he thinks I'm pretty in my ripped jeans and old tee shirt, and he'll make sure that he always asks about my day. He's cool like that. He may work an insane amount of hours each week, but when he's here, he's here. He's ours. The way our children light up when he gets home is a gift. We are all better people because of him. So much of life is spent trying to keep up with an image, or with expectations that are unrealistic (helloooo teaching, helloooo corporate America). I see nothing wrong with a comfortable, interesting kind of love. Maybe it keeps me grounded.
So if there is a lesson in all of this, I'd say we should rejoice in comfort, and if you haven't found the right person yet, let go of love at first sight. Be painfully practical. It just might work. But hey, what do I know?
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Back to it!
I got a job placement (just to follow up on the last post)... It was the one I wanted. Not only was my need met, but my want was met as well. Phew!
I was waiting on a reimbursement check to start my next class, but I figured I would outline it anyway, because that is the first step to starting any course at this University. I have to outline it, choose when to have discussions, and make sure it can all be done in 16 weeks. In the first course, this was pretty much done for me.
As I was typing out all of the readings, I realized that my first course was NOT hazing. It was easy. The reading was minimal compared to this. Maybe I just don't understand how to lay it all out, but whoa. The amount of reading is insane! Not complaining, just a teensy bit shocked! After spending over 2 hours outlining the first section of the course (a month's worth of reading), I thought perhaps I was making more work of it than was meant to me. I stopped there and e-mailed my mentor (the Dean, conveniently) to be sure I was doing it right. I'll wait to hear back before I keep at that outline.
This feels like the real jumping off point for me. If I can get through this class, I will be confident in my ability to endure the journey. With the new job, I don't know what to expect in any realm. My hope is that since I will have fewer students, I should have less grading and be able to devote the time I used to devote to grading to this. However, the learning curve will be steep in the fall. Perhaps I can push and get most of this class done in the summer... I don't know... But there will be more posts as it all unfolds.
I find this themed blog to be slightly boring. Sorry... but this is life as a doctoral student.
In other news, my summer vacation is starting off nicely. I'm LOVING being home with my kids, and swimming in the pool every day. This summer, my little cherubs seem to genuinely like each other, which is a massive first in our book! My son will be 4 in 2 weeks, and my daughter is 2 1/2. They got off to a rocky start (I knew I was up the proverbial creek when my son asked me to put his sister, then a newborn, outside... in the blizzard of 2009... and 2010. APPARENTLY she cried too much for his liking... he does not remember his own crying...). When my daughter's first reaction to a possible conflict with her brother is to take whatever she has in her hands and clock him over the head (or between the eyes if she's feeling feisty), my hopes for their friendship diminish. But these past 2 weeks of summer have proven to me that they do indeed love one another, and are starting to figure out how to play together. I am so excited. They are also HUGE fans of me right now, which never hurts!!
At 12:28 a.m., I know I will be getting up with them (and the sun) before I know it. Goodnight!
I was waiting on a reimbursement check to start my next class, but I figured I would outline it anyway, because that is the first step to starting any course at this University. I have to outline it, choose when to have discussions, and make sure it can all be done in 16 weeks. In the first course, this was pretty much done for me.
As I was typing out all of the readings, I realized that my first course was NOT hazing. It was easy. The reading was minimal compared to this. Maybe I just don't understand how to lay it all out, but whoa. The amount of reading is insane! Not complaining, just a teensy bit shocked! After spending over 2 hours outlining the first section of the course (a month's worth of reading), I thought perhaps I was making more work of it than was meant to me. I stopped there and e-mailed my mentor (the Dean, conveniently) to be sure I was doing it right. I'll wait to hear back before I keep at that outline.
This feels like the real jumping off point for me. If I can get through this class, I will be confident in my ability to endure the journey. With the new job, I don't know what to expect in any realm. My hope is that since I will have fewer students, I should have less grading and be able to devote the time I used to devote to grading to this. However, the learning curve will be steep in the fall. Perhaps I can push and get most of this class done in the summer... I don't know... But there will be more posts as it all unfolds.
I find this themed blog to be slightly boring. Sorry... but this is life as a doctoral student.
In other news, my summer vacation is starting off nicely. I'm LOVING being home with my kids, and swimming in the pool every day. This summer, my little cherubs seem to genuinely like each other, which is a massive first in our book! My son will be 4 in 2 weeks, and my daughter is 2 1/2. They got off to a rocky start (I knew I was up the proverbial creek when my son asked me to put his sister, then a newborn, outside... in the blizzard of 2009... and 2010. APPARENTLY she cried too much for his liking... he does not remember his own crying...). When my daughter's first reaction to a possible conflict with her brother is to take whatever she has in her hands and clock him over the head (or between the eyes if she's feeling feisty), my hopes for their friendship diminish. But these past 2 weeks of summer have proven to me that they do indeed love one another, and are starting to figure out how to play together. I am so excited. They are also HUGE fans of me right now, which never hurts!!
At 12:28 a.m., I know I will be getting up with them (and the sun) before I know it. Goodnight!
Friday, June 1, 2012
Goodbye, Cliches!
I'm in an interesting situation with my job. Everything is okay, it's just that because of hiring and contract rules, when a school has to "downsize" (aka, population decreases thereby causing staffing needs to decrease) the most recently hired gets the boot. Luckily, in my case, "the boot" just means I get reassigned to another school somewhere in the county, teaching something. Presently, I still do not know where I will be assigned. You can imagine (I would think), that after a while this uncertainty leaves me stressed. I have good days and bad ones. Since I don't know where I am going, I don't feel like there's any finality or closure to the situation, which can eat away at me. Especially considering for 2 months I've known I have to transfer, and for 2 months I have heard no news in regards to my new placement. And, the last week of school is coming up, and I'm really sad to leave. I love my school & my wonderful friends there.
In any case, during this time of uncertainty, I've heard every consolation in the book. Everything from maybe the new job will be better, to it is all about how I handle it, even to the good old everything happens for a reason. And you know what? That's all accurate in my book. I am blessed to have a job. I know this, and I thank God for this. But at some point, the cliches can turn to guilt trips for me, for my lack of thankfulness for the blessings that I do have.
So, coming to the point of this post (which is way too wordy... are you still reading?)... I heard an interview with Jason Mraz on the radio in regards to his song "I Won't Give Up." You can read about it/watch it here: http://music-mix.ew.com/2012/05/30/jason-mraz-gets-emotional-on-vh1-storytellers-watch-the-sneak-peek-here-exclusive/. Essentially he said he wrote it at a time in his life where was really bummed out. And he got choked up and said, "I hate it when I am bummed out, because everything I've ever needed I've gotten..." And he goes on to talk about a relationship that he chose not to give up on. After hearing this, and mulling it over a bit, I though, "Dang, Jason! You just took this girl to CHURCH!" But in all righteous honesty, I too have been given everything I ever needed. I don't always get what I want, but I cannot look back on my life and think of a need that wasn't met. As a child, I needed the chance to explore many activities (helloooo attention deficit), and my parents provided that, knowing full well some of these things I'd abandon as fast as I started (tennis, lacrosse), and some would become major sanity savers (skating, music, theatre). As a teen in a high school (full of kids I did not go to middle school with), I needed friends. I found a group of girlfriends, God bless them, who were amazing. We gave each other flowers on valentines day because none of us had boyfriends, we drank Starbucks as soon as we could drive there, and we made sure none of us ever had to sit alone at lunch. I had to wait for these friends, because nothing happens right away, but eventually (before I lost my mind, and before the end of 9th grade) that need was met. Not in my time, but met nonetheless. I needed a stable family. In the mix of the fun we put in dysfunctional, that need was also met, thanks to good honest communication, and a strong shot of reality--mixed with laugh-till-you-pee humor. In college, I needed a good therapist. My parents found me one and funded that as well. When I finished college, I needed a job. I got hired where I student taught. Again, it took time (I was a little worried when August 1st rolled around, but the job happened). I stopped working (first baby) right before the economy went to heck, causing husband's job to bring in about $400 under what we needed to live monthly. Our family helped us, and I got a job within a couple of months. Not because I wanted to return to work, but because I needed to (which turned out to be a blessing anyway... yes, cliche I know). There are so many things in my life I have needed, and all of these things have been given to me. And when I heard Jason Mraz saying that very thing, my first thought was, "psht. privilege." But then I thought it over more and realized he didn't say he got what he wanted. He said his needs were met.
I am so grateful to be able to come to that realization. I feel like it throws all the cliches away and just gets real. I also know that to some, this is a soap boxy, my-life-is-so-perfect-I-am-so-blessed" kind of post. But truth be told, it was like a 2 by 4 whammed me in the nugget and said "GET OFF OF IT WOMAN! Your needs will be met." And they will. Amen?
In any case, during this time of uncertainty, I've heard every consolation in the book. Everything from maybe the new job will be better, to it is all about how I handle it, even to the good old everything happens for a reason. And you know what? That's all accurate in my book. I am blessed to have a job. I know this, and I thank God for this. But at some point, the cliches can turn to guilt trips for me, for my lack of thankfulness for the blessings that I do have.
So, coming to the point of this post (which is way too wordy... are you still reading?)... I heard an interview with Jason Mraz on the radio in regards to his song "I Won't Give Up." You can read about it/watch it here: http://music-mix.ew.com/2012/05/30/jason-mraz-gets-emotional-on-vh1-storytellers-watch-the-sneak-peek-here-exclusive/. Essentially he said he wrote it at a time in his life where was really bummed out. And he got choked up and said, "I hate it when I am bummed out, because everything I've ever needed I've gotten..." And he goes on to talk about a relationship that he chose not to give up on. After hearing this, and mulling it over a bit, I though, "Dang, Jason! You just took this girl to CHURCH!" But in all righteous honesty, I too have been given everything I ever needed. I don't always get what I want, but I cannot look back on my life and think of a need that wasn't met. As a child, I needed the chance to explore many activities (helloooo attention deficit), and my parents provided that, knowing full well some of these things I'd abandon as fast as I started (tennis, lacrosse), and some would become major sanity savers (skating, music, theatre). As a teen in a high school (full of kids I did not go to middle school with), I needed friends. I found a group of girlfriends, God bless them, who were amazing. We gave each other flowers on valentines day because none of us had boyfriends, we drank Starbucks as soon as we could drive there, and we made sure none of us ever had to sit alone at lunch. I had to wait for these friends, because nothing happens right away, but eventually (before I lost my mind, and before the end of 9th grade) that need was met. Not in my time, but met nonetheless. I needed a stable family. In the mix of the fun we put in dysfunctional, that need was also met, thanks to good honest communication, and a strong shot of reality--mixed with laugh-till-you-pee humor. In college, I needed a good therapist. My parents found me one and funded that as well. When I finished college, I needed a job. I got hired where I student taught. Again, it took time (I was a little worried when August 1st rolled around, but the job happened). I stopped working (first baby) right before the economy went to heck, causing husband's job to bring in about $400 under what we needed to live monthly. Our family helped us, and I got a job within a couple of months. Not because I wanted to return to work, but because I needed to (which turned out to be a blessing anyway... yes, cliche I know). There are so many things in my life I have needed, and all of these things have been given to me. And when I heard Jason Mraz saying that very thing, my first thought was, "psht. privilege." But then I thought it over more and realized he didn't say he got what he wanted. He said his needs were met.
I am so grateful to be able to come to that realization. I feel like it throws all the cliches away and just gets real. I also know that to some, this is a soap boxy, my-life-is-so-perfect-I-am-so-blessed" kind of post. But truth be told, it was like a 2 by 4 whammed me in the nugget and said "GET OFF OF IT WOMAN! Your needs will be met." And they will. Amen?
Saturday, May 5, 2012
A Working Mother's Rant
I love it that moms can stay at home. I do. I love it that they love it. I also appreciate that staying at home is a really, really, hard job. I know this. But the thing I don't appreciate, is the subtle remarks in blogs, editorials, etc., that indicate somehow that those of us that have to go to work, or choose to, in addition to raising children, somehow aren't REALLY the ones raising them.
Excuuuuuusssseeee me. I can't count how many times I've read things like, "We make sacrifices so that I can raise my children." If this is naked insecurity, then forgive me or look away. I've done it both ways, and circumstances say I have to be a working mother. And for anyone to say that it means I'm not really raising my kids reeks of ignorance. Somehow, I go to work, and also raise my kids. When I was staying home with my son, I really couldn't even wrap my head around how people worked and raised kids. I thought he'd be in diapers till kindergarten because I would not be able to potty train him ever. But then I had to work, and guess what happened... he ditched the diapers around age 3 with no struggle, and little bribery. I waited longer to train him, yes, but I was glad because it really wasn't that hard.
I have written before about how I relinquish some of my mothering duties to the caregiver. This is true, because she sees my cherubs for more waking hours during the week. But it doesn't give me a free pass on child rearing. I think people need to respect choices, and realize that those of us who work, come home and still do everything else too. I mean, maybe some working moms have housekeepers, but not this one.
Everyone does the best with what they have, for what they have. I really believe this. I want the rest of the universe to believe it too... we should all be patting ourselves on the back for doing our best. And stop saying one is better than the other. We all have to do what we all have to do.
Excuuuuuusssseeee me. I can't count how many times I've read things like, "We make sacrifices so that I can raise my children." If this is naked insecurity, then forgive me or look away. I've done it both ways, and circumstances say I have to be a working mother. And for anyone to say that it means I'm not really raising my kids reeks of ignorance. Somehow, I go to work, and also raise my kids. When I was staying home with my son, I really couldn't even wrap my head around how people worked and raised kids. I thought he'd be in diapers till kindergarten because I would not be able to potty train him ever. But then I had to work, and guess what happened... he ditched the diapers around age 3 with no struggle, and little bribery. I waited longer to train him, yes, but I was glad because it really wasn't that hard.
I have written before about how I relinquish some of my mothering duties to the caregiver. This is true, because she sees my cherubs for more waking hours during the week. But it doesn't give me a free pass on child rearing. I think people need to respect choices, and realize that those of us who work, come home and still do everything else too. I mean, maybe some working moms have housekeepers, but not this one.
Everyone does the best with what they have, for what they have. I really believe this. I want the rest of the universe to believe it too... we should all be patting ourselves on the back for doing our best. And stop saying one is better than the other. We all have to do what we all have to do.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
look what I just done did...
Well, I'll be darned. Remember that assignment that I was worried about? The one where I design my next four courses? Done.
Check it off the list! How it works really, is I submit it, and then the dean responds with anything I need to fix (another phone conversation), and then I fix it. Then I hand in the fixed copy. And know what happens after that? After that, I will have successfully completed the first 4 credits of the 60-62 on the doctoral to-do list. Sweet!
I thought these courses were my very next 4, but it turns out that I have eight required courses in education before I get to these 4 I designed. After those eight required courses, I can choose to edit these four, or leave them alone and complete them.
I'm not sure if this is an accurate conclusion to draw, but I believe that perhaps this first course was one of those "are you cut out for this kind of academics" sort of course. I'm happy to say that I loved it, and I believe I have done extremely well. My transcript will tell the truth, but all signs point to 'A'! I was really elated when I finished this template. Don't get me wrong though, I had coffee (with caffeine) at dinner time... Zzzzzing! So that helped.
We shall see if the dean approves of my work. In the meantime, I have to get back to my middle school work (lesson plans), and equally important, sleep.
Goodnight.
Check it off the list! How it works really, is I submit it, and then the dean responds with anything I need to fix (another phone conversation), and then I fix it. Then I hand in the fixed copy. And know what happens after that? After that, I will have successfully completed the first 4 credits of the 60-62 on the doctoral to-do list. Sweet!
I thought these courses were my very next 4, but it turns out that I have eight required courses in education before I get to these 4 I designed. After those eight required courses, I can choose to edit these four, or leave them alone and complete them.
I'm not sure if this is an accurate conclusion to draw, but I believe that perhaps this first course was one of those "are you cut out for this kind of academics" sort of course. I'm happy to say that I loved it, and I believe I have done extremely well. My transcript will tell the truth, but all signs point to 'A'! I was really elated when I finished this template. Don't get me wrong though, I had coffee (with caffeine) at dinner time... Zzzzzing! So that helped.
We shall see if the dean approves of my work. In the meantime, I have to get back to my middle school work (lesson plans), and equally important, sleep.
Goodnight.
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