Saturday, May 5, 2012

A Working Mother's Rant

I love it that moms can stay at home.  I do.  I love it that they love it.  I also appreciate that staying at home is a really, really, hard job.  I know this.  But the thing I don't appreciate, is the subtle remarks in blogs, editorials, etc., that indicate somehow that those of us that have to go to work, or choose to, in addition to raising children, somehow aren't REALLY the ones raising them. 

Excuuuuuusssseeee me.  I can't count how many times I've read things like, "We make sacrifices so that I can raise my children."  If this is naked insecurity, then forgive me or look away.  I've done it both ways, and circumstances say I have to be a working mother.  And for anyone to say that it means I'm not really raising my kids reeks of ignorance.  Somehow, I go to work, and also raise my kids.  When I was staying home with my son, I really couldn't even wrap my head around how people worked and raised kids.  I thought he'd be in diapers till kindergarten because I would not be able to potty train him ever.  But then I had to work, and guess what happened... he ditched the diapers around age 3 with no struggle, and little bribery.  I waited longer to train him, yes, but I was glad because it really wasn't that hard. 

I have written before about how I relinquish some of my mothering duties to the caregiver.  This is true, because she sees my cherubs for more waking hours during the week.  But it doesn't give me a free pass on child rearing.  I think people need to respect choices, and realize that those of us who work, come home and still do everything else too.  I mean, maybe some working moms have housekeepers, but not this one. 

Everyone does the best with what they have, for what they have.  I really believe this.  I want the rest of the universe to believe it too... we should all be patting ourselves on the back for doing our best.  And stop saying one is better than the other.  We all have to do what we all have to do.