Friday, June 1, 2012

Goodbye, Cliches!

I'm in an interesting situation with my job.  Everything is okay, it's just that because of hiring and contract rules, when a school has to "downsize" (aka, population decreases thereby causing staffing needs to decrease) the most recently hired gets the boot.  Luckily, in my case, "the boot" just means I get reassigned to another school somewhere in the county, teaching something.  Presently, I still do not know where I will be assigned.  You can imagine (I would think), that after a while this uncertainty leaves me stressed.  I have good days and bad ones.  Since I don't know where I am going, I don't feel like there's any finality or closure to the situation, which can eat away at me. Especially considering for 2 months I've known I have to transfer, and for 2 months I have heard no news in regards to my new placement. And, the last week of school is coming up, and I'm really sad to leave.  I love my school & my wonderful friends there.

In any case, during this time of uncertainty, I've heard every consolation in the book.  Everything from maybe the new job will be better, to it is all about how I handle it, even to the good old everything happens for a reason.  And you know what?  That's all accurate in my book.  I am blessed to have a job.  I know this, and I thank God for this.  But at some point, the cliches can turn to guilt trips for me, for my lack of thankfulness for the blessings that I do have. 

So, coming to the point of this post (which is way too wordy... are you still reading?)... I heard an interview with Jason Mraz on the radio in regards to his song "I Won't Give Up."  You can read about it/watch it here:  Essentially he said he wrote it at a time in his life where was really bummed out.  And he got choked up and said, "I hate it when I am bummed out, because everything I've ever needed I've gotten..."  And he goes on to talk about a relationship that he chose not to give up on.  After hearing this, and mulling it over a bit, I though, "Dang, Jason! You just took this girl to CHURCH!"  But in all righteous honesty, I too have been given everything I ever needed.  I don't always get what I want, but I cannot look back on my life and think of a need that wasn't met.  As a child, I needed the chance to explore many activities (helloooo attention deficit), and my parents provided that, knowing full well some of these things I'd abandon as fast as I started (tennis, lacrosse), and some would become major sanity savers (skating, music, theatre).  As a teen in a high school (full of kids I did not go to middle school with), I needed friends.  I found a group of girlfriends, God bless them, who were amazing.  We gave each other flowers on valentines day because none of us had boyfriends, we drank Starbucks as soon as we could drive there, and we made sure none of us ever had to sit alone at lunch.  I had to wait for these friends, because nothing happens right away, but eventually (before I lost my mind, and before the end of 9th grade) that need was met.  Not in my time, but met nonetheless.  I needed a stable family.  In the mix of the fun we put in dysfunctional, that need was also met, thanks to good honest communication, and a strong shot of reality--mixed with laugh-till-you-pee humor.  In college, I needed a good therapist.  My parents found me one and funded that as well.  When I finished college, I needed a job. I got hired where I student taught.  Again, it took time (I was a little worried when August 1st rolled around, but the job happened).  I stopped working (first baby) right before the economy went to heck, causing husband's job to bring in about $400 under what we needed to live monthly.  Our family helped us, and I got a job within a couple of months.  Not because I wanted to return to work, but because I needed to (which turned out to be a blessing anyway... yes, cliche I know).  There are so many things in my life I have needed, and all of these things have been given to me.  And when I heard Jason Mraz saying that very thing, my first thought was, "psht.  privilege."  But then I thought it over more and realized he didn't say he got what he wanted.  He said his needs were met. 

I am so grateful to be able to come to that realization.  I feel like it throws all the cliches away and just gets real.  I also know that to some, this is a soap boxy, my-life-is-so-perfect-I-am-so-blessed" kind of post.  But truth be told, it was like a 2 by 4 whammed me in the nugget and said "GET OFF OF IT WOMAN!  Your needs will be met."  And they will.  Amen?

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